Archive for What Were They Thinking

Oscar thoughts

As one might expect, there aren’t a LOT of plus-sized ladies at the Oscars.  Still, I would have liked to see plus-sized fashion better represented.

Adele, Oscar’s 2013

She just recently had a baby and her body has recovered well.  The beaded black is lovely and sparkly.  The dress is fitted well and skims her body.  I love the sheer sleeves.  My only negative is that the neckline seems very high for this type of event; I would have liked to see a somewhat lower scoop neck.  Still, this dress was successful.  I LOVE her hair down!

Octavia Spencer – Oscar’s 2013

This dress is also perfectly fitted and quite lovely.  I’m not digging the color, but it suits her skin well enough.  (There is something subversive about a woman of color wearing a dress in what would be considered a “nude” on a white woman.)  This doesn’t make me go wow or want to run out to the designer (Tadashi Shoji), but I think she looks lovely.

Melissa McCarthy, Oscar’s 2013

Melissa, Melissa, Melissa.  WHY???  Where should I start…

  • What’s up with the pompadour?  Not at all flattering.
  • Grey?  GREY?  Even if it weren’t kind of an icky color to start with, it does NOTHING for your skin.
  • This dress does NOTHING for your figure.  In fact, it fits like a badly tailored tent.
  • What’s up with the sleeves?  Tell me those are not creasing like that because they are dolman’s because, frankly that is not a good look on anyone?
  • It looks cheap to me; like the beading was done separately and then sewn on, and I half expect the fabric to be a stretchy knit jersey.
  • At least Adele had sheer sleeves.  This is unrelentingly opaque and dull in color.

My first impression of this dress was as follows:  Melissa looks like a mother of the bride who is particularly embarrassed by her size.  And in the end that really is my biggest problem.  This is the dress of someone who has given up and now believes all the things that people say about fat chicks.

The only person out there who is MORE covered up was Emmanuelle Riva, who is old enough to justify it.  And it isn’t especially attractive on HER either.

In the end, Melissa, you are a BEAUTIFUL woman who managed to make herself look drab, colorless, shapeless and unattractive.  You have looked so much better at previous awards shows:




Oscar’s 2012


Critic’s Choice (ONE OF MY FAVORITES)


2012 Emmys (LOVE this one – #1 in my book)

You have done better, and you can DO better.  We WANT you to do better.  I hate seeing the internet aflame with people hating on your dress.  Embrace who you are and your shape and make the most of it!  Leave the grey tents for … well, frankly no one.

Trends that should end: Skinny Jeans, Ankle Jeans and Jeggings

I know I am going to take a lot of heat for this one, but I’ve had just about enough of Skinny Jeans.  Jeggings and Ankle Jeans are just special cases of Skinny Jeans, which I will get to later.  But first, let’s talk about the monster in the room.  Skinny Jeans.

Skinny Jeans have their place.  They make it much easier to tuck your jeans into your boots (when you are going for that look.  But in general, I find them unattractive on MOST women (not just plus sized).

  • Skinny jeans accentuate how skinny our ankles are.  Therefore, by comparison, they make our thighs, hips and butt look wider.  This effect is FAR worse on plus-sized women, as skinny jeans accentuate the difference and angles in ways that aren’t flattering.  (Don’t believe me?  Take a look at these Orange jeans and tell me you think they are enhancing her figure –> )
  • They accentuate cellulite and flab on our thighs, usually by clingy there.  See picture –>
  • They bunch up and wrinkle oddly around our knees – adding another set of horizontal lines that breaks up the nice vertical one that our jeans could have. <– See picture –>
  • They cling to our calves <– See picture –>
  • They bunch up around our ankles <– See picture –>
  • By adding in all those curves to match our legs, they break the nice flowing line from the hip that a good pair of jeans gives us.  That line lengthens the leg and makes us look taller, thinner AND more put together.
  • They look casual under EVERY circumstance.
  • Many women wear them too tight, so camel-toe is rampent.

Jeggings are just extra tight skinny jeans.  Suffice it to say that Jeggings take every sin of skinny jeans and make them worse, usually in a lighter weight fabric that subtracts the control that some skinny jeans provide.

Ankle jeans (also boyfriend jeans rolled up above the ankle and other such styles) were some bright bulbs idea of how to deal with the fact that proper length skinny jeans have a tendency to bunch up around the ankles.  Notice how the pair to the left clink and create curves in bad places, make her ankles look crazy small and proportionately make everything else look bigger.  This is a MODEL.

However the glory of a proper length jean is that it makes your legs look longer, and ankle jeans do just the opposite; they cut you off a few inches too short.  I wouldn’t mention these abominations if my beloved J.Jill weren’t so fond of them.  It’s important to check the length on their pants.

My biggest problem with ALL of these trends, however, is how hard they have made it to find a pair of bootcut jeans.  Particularly a pair of COLORED bootcut jeans.  Manufacturers are churning out every new trend in skinny cuts rather than making them available to those of us who like something else.

And often, that is my biggest problem with trends.  They can take over the market and leave those of us who prefer something else completely out in the cold.

(I didn’t want to be mean to real women (although it isn’t hard to find examples), so these pictures are from vendor sites.  I’ve always had a rule that if it doesn’t look good on the model, it probably won’t look good on me.  These pictures bear that out.)

Trends that should End – Bottom-banded tops

(This is the start of a series on Trends that are taking over plus fashion, especially those that are generally unattractive or unflattering.  I know that there are people who will LOVE each of these trends, and on whom they will look terrific.  But they will end up in this column when there are few other options or the trend is nearly impossible to avoid.)

One of the trends for the past few seasons has been tops that have a band around the bottom, usually that hits at the hip and brings the top in tight.  This needs to end.  The look doesn’t flatter most women’s figures, and more often detracts from her great curves.  Here’s an example.
MICHAEL Michael Kors Plus - Plus Size Mission Tie Dye Crinkle Peasant Top (Vine) - ApparelThis Michael Kors top from Zappos is quite lovely, but take a close look at what it is doing for the model’s figure.  She has lost her waist, has almost no chest (despite the site saying she is a 38D and looks kind of like a blob.  In contrast, here she is in a top without the bottom band puffing out her shirt:

MICHAEL Michael Kors Plus - Plus Size Abstract Camo Cap Sleeve Top (Rich Olive) - ApparelNow she has a waist, smaller hips and more curves.  The overall result is more flattering.

This difference is made worse on those of us who don’t have model figures and stylists to make sure everything is laying correctly.

For those of us with a pear shape, the band hits at our widest part and the blouse-y middle covers up our best features.  For those who are apples, this type of shirt can allow some breathing room around the middle but can also make you look even rounder.

I have tried these types of tops on, and the only ones that made it out of the store had an actual elastic band at the bottom that I could remove.  Otherwise they have NEVER looked attractive.  Designers should move on from this trend sooner rather than later.