Archive for November 3, 2012

Dark Autumn

Dark Autumn
Just for the record, I am head over heels in LOVE with that purse, but since I won’t usually spend $100 on a bag I can’t imagine spending over $1000.  However the color combination is inspiring me.  And I need to find booties like those!

Navel Gazing

Today was a hard shopping day.  The images in my head weren’t what I was seeing in the mirror.  I was finding the right pieces, but the problem was me.  I didn’t “fill them out” the same way as the images.

Part of the problem is that the girl in my head is about 2 sizes smaller (18ish).  But this was more specific.  I mentioned last post that the Peplum style didn’t work on me; that was because of that extra spare tire; there’s the boobs, then the extra, then the tummy.  The peplum style needs a slim profile from just under the boobs to where it kicks out.  I don’t have that without shapewear and since I was shopping for a trip out of time on an airplane, that seemed a bad idea.

Today I was looking for a pair of maroon/purple leggings/jeggings to wear with boots.  And I found them.  But but rather than a straight (albeit wide) line from the crotch to the ankle, I have a bulge on the inside of each thing just above the knee.  When I turned sideways my legs looked more like a leg of lamb than the straight angled line that even a lot of plus-sized girls manage to get.

Was I being overly critical?  Probably.  That happens sometimes.

But one of the side effects of starting this blog has been that I am seeing more ideas and thinking more about what I wear than I ever have, and the result of that was BOUND to trip my inner critic eventually.

Of course, I don’t know who I think I’m kidding.  I mean, I’m fat.  I’ve been fat all my life.  I will be fat all my life.  Wearing a pair of leggings tucked into my boots is not going to somehow make that more obvious.

But I envy a lot of the girls who are comfortable in their size and wear things that they want.  I worry that when I wear things like that people will think I am 1) wearing something that doesn’t fit, 2) trying to hard or 3) just plain foolish.  In fact, few people have the time to think that hard about what someone else is wearing, but what my brain knows is not always passed through to my emotions.

Tomorrow I will go back and get the pieces I was looking at.  I will turn off the inner critic and focus on listening to my brain.  But for tonight, I’m not feeling so great about myself.

Shopping: A mixed bag

I love to shop.  I make a very good living and still probably spend too much on shopping.  However it can be really hit or miss sometimes, and the “fat tax” (read: shipping in both directions) can be problematic.  Thus todays mixed bag.

Coldwater Creek Chevron Tee: I saw this in the store and went gaga over the colors.  However this went back today for two reasons:

  1. The shape was all wrong for me.  The neck was too high and the the dolman sleeves just didn’t look right.
  2. The fabric was…odd.  This thing is 100% polyester and fails all my softness tests.  Heck, it holds a pleat.  While I have no doubt that it will hold it’s color well over time, I prefer my tees to be snuggly.


My husband also informed me that I should stay away from that type of Chevron pattern.  He claims it just doesn’t look good on me, but I suspect he was having 70’s afgan flashbacks.  I know I do every time I see similar sweaters in earthtones.  In the meantime, I drove this over to the nearest Coldwater Creek and returned it.  (And complained AGAIN about them no longer carrying 3X in the store so I could have TRIED IT ON.)


Asos Heavy Jersey Top with Peplum:  I knew I needed to at least TRY the peplum trend, so last week I ordered two from Asos.  This was the better of the two.  It fit fine, but the line at the point where the peplum begins cuts across me at exactly the WRONG point to be flattering.  It hits smack on the spare tire and draws far too much attention to it.  Looking at myself from the front it was OK, but when I turned even a little it became massively obvious and unflattering.  The high neckline wasn’t doing me any favors either.


Asos Peplum Top in Soft Jersey with Sleeves:  This one is a ligher weight fabric (although I think I liked the heavier better) and has a far better neckline for me, but the sleeves were incredibly tight.  And not just at my flabby upper arms either; all the way down to the wrist.


In both cases I could have worn them with shapewear and looked good, but I refuse.  I intensely dislike wearing shapewear unless absolutely necessary, and neither of these were cute enough to be worth the trouble.


More importantly I learned a valuable lesson about shapes and my body’s shape.  Stick to empire waists.  These are both going back in Monday’s mail.


This fact, unfortunately, reminds me of the fat tax; ie shipping in both directions.  My husband and I were talking about budgets, and he pointed out that I had spent kind of a lot on clothing in the last couple weeks.  The thing is that I KNEW half or more would be going back.  So in addition to costing more for shipping in both directions, it also ties up money in the meantime.  Makes me cranky.  Anyway….


Now for the GOOD side of the mixed bag.  I had brunch with some of the girls and was magnetically drawn into TJ Maxx on the way home.  There I found two pairs, in my size, of Josef Seibel Marissa mary-jane style shoes.  One pair is camel that will look amazing with jeans and my camel and black purse, while the other is a deep hunter green that I will figure out what to wear with on Monday.  The color was just too lovely to leave behind, and anyone who loves places like TJ Maxx knows that they sell out QUICKLY of anything really good.


This particular style is around the internet on clearance, and in these colors, for around $100/pair.  I got each pair for $40.  $87 with tax for both pairs!  I cannot TELL you how excited I was about this!  Of course if I were REALLY blessed they would have had them in black.  But they fit PERFECTLY, looked adorable and are crazy comfortable.
Tell me about your latest and greatest shopping trips?